ACK St Peter's Cathedral Church, Nyeri

Bible Study Report – Held on Friday, 1st April 2022 in the Hall

Attendees

1. Martin Muthee
2. Monica Muthee
3. Victor Kariuki
4. Catherine Chege
5. James Mwangi
6. Fred Barasa
7. Agatha Barasa

Apologies

1. Pius Gitonga
2. Nancy Gitonga
3. Josephine Kariuki
4. William Mbuthia
5. Martha Mbuthia
6. Samuel Gichuhi
7. Catherine Gichuhi
8. Nellius Kinyanjui

Biblical Passage/scripture: 

Genesis 2:18-25

Questions

   1. What does this passage say Adam was missing or lacking?

• He was lacking a suitable helper or companion (v20). Emphasis is given on the adverb ‘suitable’ because to Adam, Eve was not just any helper but a perfect one, very suitable for him.

   2. In what ways do you and your spouse complement each other?

Paraphrase: You can sit with your wife and answer the question as it applies to you two. However, for purposes of general discussion, we paraphrased and asked; in what ways do spouses complement each other? (Also read Eccl 4:9-12)

• Companionship – helping each other deal with loneliness (Eccl 4:11).
• Teamwork – working together and helping each other complete joint tasks (Eccl 4:9-10).
• Supporting each other in decision-making.
• Security – protecting each other (Eccl 4:12a).
• Assisting in repairs and other physical activities.
• Encouraging each other. Your spouse is your biggest cheerleader, always there to encourage and support you.
• Admonishing each other. This helps sharpen and make every partner better.
• Completing each other. When two people come together, one brings on board something that the other person was missing (and vice versa), leading to a jig-saw fit of character traits that completes both individuals.

    3. What were the barriers, if any, between Adam and Eve?

We did not see any barriers.

   4. What prevents you from being truly vulnerable with your spouse?

Paraphrase: We agreed that being truly vulnerable to each other means being completely open to each other. Trusting each other fully. Giving yourself wholly to your partner without holding anything back. You can also answer in relation to your partner, but we looked at it generally: what prevents partners from being truly vulnerable with each other?

• Having trust issues with each other. These may arise from a myriad of sources or may simply be a case of the couple not having learned each other enough, needing more time to fully trust – it’s a journey. We agreed that even though it takes time to fully build trust, we must all deliberately strive to trust and be open to each other.
• Individual expectations – each partner has their own expectations and if everything was not discussed earlier, one may be tempted to hold back a bit due to various happenings along the way. It is good to put everything on the table so that as the marriage grows nothing will crop up and cause fears. It’s also good to cater for the expectations of both parties.
• Questionable characters – if one of the partners has questionable character then their spouse may hold back a bit. For instance, if the husband is a drunkard who drinks all the money available, the wife may decide to hide the fact that she has some money. Or if when the wife is supposed to withdraw Ksh 1,000 for shopping from the joint or man’s account and she ends up withdrawing more, the husband is not likely to give her access in future. We must work on ourselves and develop good and reliable character traits.
• Not valuing each other’s ideas – this is when a partner ignores or goes against the other’s views. It also applies when one partner gives suggestions but the other continually trashes them. They may feel unappreciated and tempted to hold back. It is good to do everything as agreed. It is also good to listen to each other and value each other’s views, however poor they may sound.
• Fears – these are mainly fears of the unknown. They may either arise from the usual ‘what ifs’ or may have grown over time. What if I allow her/him to know all my earnings then s/he runs away with all my money? What if I allow him/her to access my phone and then she finds something that I want to keep to myself? And many more fears. These will cause one to hold back so much. It is good to be fully open to each other. It is also good to freely express our fears to each other and tackle them together.

In addition…

1. As a couple, always trust in God. Seek him first and always.
2. Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses (and do not take advantage of each other’s weaknesses).
3. Learn to do good without expecting anything in return. Do not say you’ll only be open to your partner if they are open to you. Be the first and do the right thing, whether your partner will replicate or not.
4. Marriage is a journey and as couples, we are at different stages. If another couple is not yet where you are it doesn’t mean that they are lost. We respectfully walk with each other while fully understanding this difference. However, we are all walking towards the same goal of being truly vulnerable to each other so that we can fully enjoy the intimacy that comes with it.
5. Marriage offers us an opportunity to express God’s love. That is why the institution of marriage has been compared with Christ’s relationship with the church.

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It’s time to expand

Having fully set up the structures and started off, the chairman informed the fellowship to now go out and invite more couples to join in compliance with the admission criteria.

Next meetup

Bible study in the Cathedral on Friday, 8th April 2022 from 5:30 – 7:00 pm.