ACK St Peter's Cathedral Church, Nyeri

Bible Study Report – Held on Friday, 10th April 2022 in the Main Church

Attendees

1. Martin Muthee
2. Monica Muthee
3. Benson Chege
4. Catherine Chege
5. James Kinyanjui
6. Nellius Kinyanjui
7. Silas Kalonzo
8. Catherine Kalonzo
9. Victor Kariuki
10. Samuel Gichuhi
11. Fred Barasa
12. Agatha Barasa

Apologies

1. Josephine Kariuki
2. Catherine Gichuhi

Biblical Passage/scripture: 

Romans 3:10-12 | Ephesians 4:25-32

Questions

Note: This is a continuation of the previous session. We tackled questions 1-3 last time and now we focus on 4-6, even though here we’ll label them as 1,2,3.

1. What is the positive which you should do?

• Be kind and compassionate (v32).
• Forgive each other (v32).
• Get rid of bitterness and all the other forms of negative feelings and actions (v31).
• Shun evil; change for the better (v28).
• Be truthful/honest (v25).

1. What are some of the ways you might be tempted to deal with problems instead of speaking? Paraphrase: what are some of the reasons that can cause a partner to deal with a problem instead of speaking.
2. Deciding to solve issues internally, especially when you know and feel that you are the problem.

• This is okay. If you feel that you are the problem then work on yourself and improve without even telling your partner about it.

1. Feeling that if you talk, you may cause more trouble.

• Speak the issue out gradually, one bit at a time. Mitigate chaos.
• Do not conceal something that can cause chaos if it gets out in future. 

1. Not knowing how the other person will react.

• Find a wise way to speak it out – like looking for the perfect time, when your partner is in a good mood.
• Set some rules to ensure conflicts do not affect the normal running of the house (like withholding of conjugal rights, financial support etc). This will reduce the fear of that reaction because at least the consequence will not affect the house routine.
• You can involve a third party and help sit the two of you down and talk out the matter.

1. Feeling that you are the one who knows exactly what happened yet your partner insists on his/her imagination/assumption of the matter.

• Always try to go the extra mile to ensure everything happens as agreed with/requested by your partner. This will minimize the occurrence of such conflicts.
• Explain yourself.
• Consider your partner’s point of view. Try to put yourself in their position. Do not jump into conclusions.
• Improve your communication, including use of appropriate tone.
• Be flexible because marriage is a give and take. For it to work, once in a while one has to be willing to go out of their way.

1. Self-centeredness. Feeling that you are the victim so you shouldn’t be the [first] one to speak.

• Marriage is not a competition. We complete each other. There’s no reward in not being the first. Just initiate the reconciliation talks.
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes so you can get their perspective and you may see that you’re not really the victim. So again, just initiate the talks.

1. When the other party refuses to do something that you’ve [repeatedly] requested them to do.

• Strive to perform tasks requested by your partner.
• If for whatever reason your partner is unable to do what you requested and you can do it, go ahead and do it. However, do not begrudge him/her because of that. Just do it and let it go.

1. Despising the other person’s opinions to an extent that they prefer keeping quiet.

• We must respect each other’s opinions.

1. Why is it so important to speak? 

• To avoid conflicts.
• To understand each other.
• To avoid piling up issues to a level it becomes hard to solve.
• To feel relieved – you feel relieved if you let out anything disturbing you.
• To express yourself so that the other person can know what exactly you feel/want.

In addition…

1. Communication is key. Couples must always speak out and aspire to solve issues as quickly as possible.
2. Nobody is perfect. It is important to let your partner know anything you find uncomfortable about them so they can change. Otherwise, they’ll not know.

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New members were welcomed. The chairman is to be given an opportunity to speak to congregants about the fellowship in all services and then invite people to join.

Next meetup

We take an Easter break to allow families to travel and/or commune together then we resume Bible study on Friday, 22nd April 2022 in the church hall.